Your Data is at Risk!

I like that 5-step-plan to guarantee integrity of data:

Prohibit staff use of iPods, USB memory sticks, floppy disks, CDs, pencils, pens, paper, telephones of any description and signalling devices including flags and morse-code lamps.

Restrict staff access to computers, preferably completely. Ideally, remove your company's entire IT infrastucture and seal the servers in concrete-filled oildrums and dump them into the Atlantic.

Put all hard copies of every document in your organisation through the shredder. Then burn the remains.

Restrict numbers of staff who have access to mission-critical data by sacking the lot of 'em. Outsource their jobs to a callcentre in Bangalore and use the savings to buy more shredders or have your servers dumped further out into the Atlantic.

Above all - don't panic. Despite recent scare stories in the press, security experts confirm that a healthy 11 per cent of all confidential data will not be stolen this year and offered on the Internet to the highest bidder.

:-)